Didn't 'Expect' This
by Datsamazin
Summary: When House pops a couple pills thinking their Vicodin he soon comes to realize he'll be having to deal with a lot more 'challenges' then just a bum leg. FINAL CHAPTER, 25, PLEASE REVIEW!
1. Chapter 1

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I do not own House or any other characters in relation to the show!

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The Hospital had been relatively vacant, no emergencies, no trauma patients nor a single case of a baffling disease. A couple people were treated for minor colds, other then that, House was growing increasingly bored. 

Not even his Game Boy was keeping him entertained, he felt the urge to hurt something, so he leans on one of the West Wing wall's till some poor soul passed by then sticks out his cane. "House!" screeched Cuddy. She sees the malevolent M.D stick his cane out a bit further, just to test her patients "awww, you just take all the fun out of maiming people."

He whines and brings the cane back in, "yeah, I'm really sorry about that," she replies sarcastically. She starts her way down the hall, "oh, and expect you to work at least 3 hours clinic duty," she calls back to him.

House rolls his eyes and gives an exasperated breath that could be heard from the next state over. "What the hell..there's no cases so why should I work clinic?" his words seeming to fade as they reach further down the halls.

"Clinic or jail, your call House," was all she had to reply, House limps into his office and spots a ball lying on his desk. He takes a seat and starts tossing the thing up towards the celling and letting gravity bring it back down.

Just then Chase enters, he notices the apathetic expression plastered across the diagnostician's face. "Bored, eh?" he asks as his eyes follow the ball's up and down motion, House continues with the tossing then finally gives an answer.

"Just for the moment, until I get home, there's a hooker and some nice, fuzzy handcuffs waiting for me." Chase tries his best to tune out that last part. "Well, uh, there's a patient that just came in and is said to be experiencing a difficulty breathing and headache."

He halts the ball tossing for a minute or two, "huh, sounds like bronchial inflammation, put 'em on one cc of Benzelic and check back with me later." He nods then leaves the room. House lays the ball back down on the desk and leans back in his chair.

He twirls his cane in between his fingers and sighs heavily. Another person had just entered his office, and it wasn't a member of the med staff. House turns slowly around in his chair and faces him. "Are you Doctor House?" asks the round-faced, nearsighted man standing by the doorway, House sets his cane aside and reaches in his desk drawer and pops a couple Vicodin.

"Depends on who's asking," he responds gruffly, the man clears his throat, some. "Uh, my name is Darrin Banks I'm with Jersey's pharmaceutical company and would just like a moment of your time to explain the vast list of new prescription drugs on the market today."

House picks up his ball and resumes back to tossing. "Yeah, uh, listen here pharmacy boy.." he begins, his eye's follow the balls direction. "I'm not interested in any new, little drugs your tryin' to pawn off, besides I have more important things to think about, like the hooker I have waitin' at home."


	2. Chapter 2

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sorry this chapter's so short, but I'll try to extend the third one.

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The pharmaceutical rep was slightly taken aback by House's demeanor, he gave it one last shot and took a small container of pills from his kit. "Well, ah, this here is Citriac, proven to lower cholesterol and blood press.." 

He was suddenly cut of by House."Listen, dude, maybe you didn't here me before?, I'm not interested, now pack up your little kit and get the hell outta my office." He raises his hands and directs the outward in a shewing motion, like warding off a peasant.

He gives House a disgruntled look, gathers his kit and heads towards the door then out towards the halls, "that's right, keep walkin' fat ass." Yells House all the while snickering a little inside.

He notices there on the floor, the bozo forgot one of his prescriptions and by the look of it, it wasn't one he had advertised. "_Phff_, moron," he snorted, and sets the container on his desk and ambles out into the halls.

Unbeknown to him, Cuddy was right on his heels. "House, damn you,!" she said, her voice almost at a yell. House just smirked, "what?..I call 'em like I see 'em," she gives a deep sigh, "you're only lucky he's not pressing any harassment charges."

House just rolled his eyes, "harassment, oh please, Lisa, I called the guy a fat ass, believe me I'm sure he's heard worse..most likely from his mother." "House!" she snaps once more. She was just so disgusted that she left for somewhere to vent, without a word.

He could feel the pain in his leg start to flare up, he limps back into the office to grab his pills, with a muddled mind, which usually occurred after being chewed-out he grabs for the small container. Pops a couple in his mouth and swallows.

It was then that he felt the presence of a strange aftertaste on his tongue. He slides the bottle around in his hand till it's label side was facing up, he stares at it bewildered. It was at that moment House realized it was the wrong bottle.

He noticed among the other common warnings on the container in bold words read:** Risk of pregnancy may occur.** Of course House though nothing of this, after all it didn't apply to him anyway. He throws the pills in the garbage then grabs for the right meds.

The only thing that didn't cross Houses mind was how wrong he actually was about the warning. And in a couple weeks time, he would come to realize to actually heed to the bold print .


	3. Chapter 3

In the couple weeks that followed since accidentally taking the 'prego pills' as House put it, he felt a little 'off.' Every so often he would experience short bouts of nausea. Of course he shrugs it off as bad seafood, it'll pass. In the conference room House starts writing a list of symptoms and the possible reasons behind them on the dry-erase board.

A man had come in with a numbness of the left leg and elevated blood pressure, "could just be a clot," Cameron speaks up. House continues scribbling away then finally gives an answer. "No, MRI tests proved there was no clotting in that leg," he says this without even looking from the board.

It was then that the fumes from the marker he'd been using had gotten the best of him. He closes his eyes for a moment hoping it would pass, "House, you alright?" asks Foremen when noticing the petulant doctor start taking short breathes to overcome the sickening sensation.

He drops the marker and heads straight for the bathroom out in the halls, leaving his team in utter bafflement. House felt as if he was in the wake of a major hangover, if only that were true. He hears someone rapping on the stall door.

"House..you alright in there?", the voice sounded like it came from Wilson. "Yeah..yeah, I'm fine, I just puke for the hell o..." Before he could finish his sarcastic retort another wave of nausea hit him hard. Finally, when it appeared as all was over and done, his hands trembled and head dampened with sweat.

He opens the door of the stall and sees Wilson leaning on one off the sinks against the wall. "House, maybe you should get that checked out, this' been going on for awhile now." House wipes at his mouth with the sleeve of his smoky-gray suit jacket.

"I'm fine dammit.. just leave me the hell alone!" He grips tighter to his cane, opens the door of the bathroom with his free hand, and heads back to the conference room. Wilson follows, this time not uttering a single word. The rest of his team could tell by House's irritable expression that it was best not to ask anything more about how he'd been feeling.

House picks up the marker and picks up where he left off. He scribbles more symptoms on the board until someone else had the guts to come fourth and speak up. He was leaning towards poor circulation as a reason behind the numbness, he circles this as being the most likely component.

"What about the blood pressure..?" asks Chase, "if it's poor circulation then his BP would be lowered." House gives a slight huff and erases the circle with the thumb of his right hand. "Alright, Brit boy, you think you have the answer?..here be my guest." With marker in hand he extends his arm towards Chase.

"For the four hundredth time I'm Australian... and I'm not sayin' I have a definitive answer yet, I just can't agree with the whole circulatory theory is all." House turns back to the board. "Whatever," he mutters and scans the other remaining symptoms, it was a truly a puzzling case, almost as bewildering as the reasons behind House's sudden strain of nausea.


	4. Chapter 4

House aimlessly roamed the halls of Princeton Plainsborough, trying to wrap his head around the strange string of symptom-like phases he'd been experiencing. It'd been another couple weeks or so and the nausea had subsided, but not entirely of course. He was now facing a whole new chapter in this 'fun' roller coaster of a hellish journey .

Now it was as though his metabolism had kicked into overdrive. The staff had broke for lunch and House loaded his tray with just about everything he laid eyes on. He plops it down on the table next to Foreman and Wilson.

"Damn, man.. whudd'cha do, jack a Micky D's or somethin'? Foreman asks, he was somewhat shocked by the amount of food that he had piled on. Between the two double cheese burgers, fries, a slab of pie and to top it off with a triple thick shake, he was certainly receiving some odd looks. "I'm hungry..you got a problem with that?"

Snaps House between a mouthful of burger, which in all aspects was not a pretty sight from Foreman's end. Wilson glanced over to see one lone fry drooped over the trays edge. With the up most prudence he attempted to snatch it when House's back was turned.

Unfortunately, he was a bit to slow, House caught him in the act, he holds his fork a few inches above the tables surface. "You take that fry and you'll be removing this fork from your hand, got it?" Wilson appeared almost petrified with fear and quickly withdrew his hand. He nods his head in understanding and resumes his meal.

After their break had ended, talk began circulating throughout the hospital of House's unusual behavior, aside from his usual despising of all mankind self. Wilson sees House coming his way and heading towards his office.

"House, can you, like hold up a sec?" Wilson asks as he starts walking alongside the malicious diagnostician. "I've noticed you've been acting..well, even more irritable lately, what's up?" House continues walking and looking straight ahead.

"Don't you have some important thing to do, like, ooh, I dunno, check on the frickin' patients and stop annoying the crap outta me?" House was about ready to strangle someone. And if there wasn't so many laws and regulations concerning homicide, he'd probably have done it by now.

He reaches his office and sits down in his chair, his eyes scan the room. Waiting for at any second for Wilson to come through the doorway. And with much relief he must have given up and went off to do whatever, which was fine and dandy in House's book, as long as it wasn't him he was hangin' around.


	5. Chapter 5

With the marking of the second month, House was no-more aware of this 'condition' then when it began. When slipping on a pair of haggard jeans, he found he couldn't exactly button them. "Damn, dryer." he muttered under his breath.

Aside from House's dilemma's came some good, the staff had properly diagnosed the benumbed leg elevated BP patient as having type 2 diabetes. And once again the hospital was to some degree, barren. The more he had thought about it, almost every pair of pants he had owned were becoming increasingly tighter, but again he continues to ignore this.

He sat in the chair of his office, and for some inexplicable reason he had sudden yearning for a bowl of chowder mixed with pineapple. When break finally came around, House grabbed a Styrofoam bowl, drifted over to the fruit plates, scooped a few pineapple chunks then added them to the soup.

Again he sits at the same table, both Wilson and Foreman's expressions were perplexed. He begins stirring in the fruit then takes a heaping spoonful. Their expressions hastily turn to disgust. He polishes it down quickly and lets the spoon drop to the bottom of the chowder dabbled bowl.

He looks across to the two men, "what the hell are you two starin' at?" he asks in his usual curt laced tone. "Well, uh..it's just a little odd to see you eat something that bizarre, if I didn't know any better, I'd, ah, I'd swear you were pregnant" says Wilson with a slight chuckle. Foreman soon joins in on a good laugh.

House shoots them both a nasty look, "whatever, idiots," he mutters, then gets up from the table to dump his tray. "Huh, bunch of morons, what the hell kinda assassin remark is that. " He would soon come to find that Wilson couldn't of been more right, House returns to his office and takes a seat, when a sudden nausea spell hit him from out of nowhere.

He grabs the small trashcan, retching almost uncontrollably. And it was that moment he realized maybe there was some truth to Wilson's ignorant comment. That would explain the nausea, which was ten times worse in the mornings, the mood swings, though that was hard to actually determine.

Adding to this the weird food cravings and the whole ordeal with pant size. He didn't want to believe it, but the more things started to develop, he now was putting the puzzle together, one piece at a time. He picks up the tennis ball and starts tossing it up to the celling, trying best he could to clear his mind, and forget the day had ever existed.

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I want to thank everyone for the reviews and for reading this oddball of a fic, chapter six will most likely be skiping a couple months ahead and be centered around House's first examine, and anyone with suggestions on weather it should be a boy or girl, please leave a review!

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	6. Chapter 6

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sorry for the crappy 5th chapter, hope this' better

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The months seemed to be flying by, and now was the dawning of the fourth. What began as idle chit chat among fellow staff became a whirl of suspicions now. House's hormones were all out of whack, he saw Cuddy coming towards him carrying a load of med records under her arm. She smiles at him then passes on by. 

Suddenly House makes the inappropriate comment. " _whoo_, I'd like to smack that," She turns around with a look of mortification spread across her face, "you pervert," she responds dryly. House has that shit-eatin' grin on his face, "now mom, lets not get hostile, I was only giving the dearest of compliments."

Her expression now somewhat exasperated. She then gives that 'your full of it' smile. "Keep that up and you'll be prying that cane from your ass," her tone sharp, House puts on a phony display of slight shuttering, "oooh, playin' dirty now are we Ms. Cuddy?"

She gives a wearisome sigh, "whatever House, I'm leaving," she tightens her underarm hold on the records and starts heading towards the elevator, which eventually lead out to the patient recovery rooms on the third floor. Wilson catches House in the middle of the hallway, "hey Greg, can I see ya for a sec?"

He waves him over, House gives that look disgruntlement, and as much as he didn't want to, he walked over to the fellow doctor. "Alright I'm here, whuddya want?" he asks riled, Wilson turns and heads for the door stationed four feet away. He opens it, " just follow me," he responds and steps inside, House limps towards the door, peering up at the sign plastered on it.

"Radiology, what the hell are you dragin' me in here for?" Wilson heads over towards one of the small machines. House immediately takes notice to this, it was an ultrasonic machine. "Is this some kind of joke, you twisted bastard." He snaps irascibly, Wilson tries to tune out the last few, choice words.

"Remember awhile back when I said that thing that if I didn't know any better I'd swear you were pregnant?" House lifts a brow confounded. "Are you high?" asks House, staring at Wilson as though he was not from this Earth. "No House I'm not, but considering your behavior lately it really makes me wonder." Wilson pats the bed next to the scanner.

"Alright, just get up here," he says with a careworn touch to his voice. House limps closer to the machine, his facial expression hadn't changed much. He thought back on the events over the past few months, and how at one time he did to some extent believe that might've triggered the whole thing. Though he humors Wilson and climbs aboard the damned bed anyways.

Wilson turns and fires up the machine, "Alright, shirt up," he said and reaches for the scope. House waves his hands almost frantic, "Yeah, ah, not happenin'" Wilson sighs aloud, "House, just lift your damn shirt," he was becoming slightly miffed. "Alright, god, aren't we touchy," suddenly he closes his eyes as though he had eaten something sour, "oooh, bad choice of words," he said mostly to himself.

Wilson ignores the obvious gutter-minded comment, and slides the scope to the destined target. "Okay, right here.." he explains, pointing to the screen with a pen. "Is the baby," House looks over from the ceiling to the screen. He couldn't believe what he was seeing.

The thing had feet and arms, when James flipped a switch there was an immediate sound of swooshing and a faint heartbeat. "Oh c'mon, this' gotta be a joke?" "No joke..and might I be the first to say, you'll soon be the parent of a baby girl," House's eyes become squinted trying to make out the image, then quickly peers up at Wilson, "ah, yeah..I'll make a call to that loony bin for ya, first thing tomorrow."


	7. Chapter 7

Being as strong headed as House was, he still refused to believe a little person was inside him. Even with the sufficient amount of supporting evidence, though he couldn't argue logics forever. He sat alone in his apartment, that unusually chilling Aprils night. It'd been a week or so since the exam, House sacked out on the couch, it was becoming increasingly difficult to move around.

That's when it finally hit him, it all had sunk in and he was actually facing reality. He recalled the other day when he weighed himself on the bathroom scale. His weight, which normally stayed around the 150 area, had soared to a whooping 175 and chances were it would gradually continue to climb until the due date was upon him.

House flipped through the variety of channels, when finally settling on one he didn't entirely hate. His navy blue pajama pants stretching out at the waistband. It was pretty obvious he had packed on a few pounds. And while all of this was such a 'joyous' experience, it was only the tip of the ice burg.

He was still adjusting to the bathroom breaks every 10 minutes or so. His eyes grew heavy when trying to watch the television. Nowadays he was lucky if he got in at least three hours of sleep, between pee breaks and cramping, it made sleeping almost nonexistent.

"Dammit," he cursed as he, with some effort, gets to his feet and limps towards the bathroom. The extra weight was putting pressure on his leg, therefore making it very discomforting. And since he had James watching his every move it meant taking painkillers was out of the question.

"_Phhff_, It's a bitch bein' knocked up," he gripes, not even realizing just how weird that had sounded. But since he was in the isolation of his apartment that meant he could do whatever he damn well pleased. Which entitled grabbing a cup of coffee, he pours the steaming beverage in an old mug.

It made him laugh a little inside, knowing that having caffeine would send Wilson into a tailspin of some sorts. He settles back onto the couch, cup in hand and ready to watch the rest of the movie he had turned to. Just then he hears the phone ring from it's place on the wall in the kitchen, though he didn't see in answering, the machine would get it.

"House it's Lisa, get to the hospital, we have a male gunshot victim you need ta look at!." House gives a low growl of discontent, he sets the mug on the coffee table in front of him, turns off the television and with every bit of energy he had left, made it to his feet, yet again.

He limps through the main doors of Princeton Plainsborough, and hadn't even bothered to change, still wearing the same pants and Hard Rock Cafe T-shirt he had left the apartment in. "Alright, what's his status?" House asks turning to Carmen, "uh.." she responds ambivalently, a certain instability in her voice, as she flipped through the patient's charts. "His heart rate is stable for now, but BP seems to be drooping."

She happens to look down and caught a glimpse of House's slightly protruding stomach. "Couldn't shed that extra winter weigh huh House?" She says jokingly, at that very moment he felt the baby kick for the first time. He grips tighter to his cane trying to overcome the dull pain of the blow. "Yeah, y'know that Jenny Craig didn't do a damn thing for me."


	8. Chapter 8

By the next day the gunshot vic was released from the hospital and on strict orders to take a couple doses of antibiotics to clear up any infection. House felt as though he had been hit by a truck, his eyes sunken and hair unkempt. Of course the baby didn't help matters any, all he had wanted to do was get some shuteye in his office.

This being before Cuddy could catch on to anything he was doing, other then his mandated duties, such as clinic. He settles down in the office chair, letting his mind drift and eyes close slowly. A knock at the door startled him from his drifting in and out of consciousness.

"_Uh, _doors open," he groans, slightly changing position in the chair.

"Greg, what were you thinkin?..going out on a night call, you're supposed to be off your feet as much as possible." Wilson's steadfast tone was like someone taking a jackhammer to House's brain. In which only a second or two afterwards, began to develop a headache, thanks to it.

Greg's eye's flutter a bit before coming into almost full focus. "God, Mandy, chill out and go watch your girl Oprah or somethin', if you hurry you might be able to catch the rest of the soap fest."

House retorts, with a look of smugness across his face. Wilson's voice just becomes more sterned, "look.." he begins with an exasperated sigh, "since you're getting further along I don't want you taking risks and that includes painkillers."

Wilson reaches one arm across the desk to grab the bottle of Vicodin. "Hey, hey, hey..what the hell you think you're doin'?" Greg asks with a certain level of choler. "Sorry Greg, but it's for your own good," he explains and proceeds to slip the bottle in the pocket of his lab coat.

"And it's for your own 'good' if you give me back that freakin' bottle." Since House had the cane at his disposal he thought now was a good of time as any to use it, he slowly gets to his feet and starts walking with the vexatious, fellow doctor.

"Y'know, you..you're absolutely right, after all, I only want what's best," of course this being all an act for what was to come next. Wilson chuckles a bit, " 'bout time you came to your senses."

James said and took a few steps more towards the door when House shifted his cane outwards and low to the ground. Next thing Wilson knew he was kissing the floor. House fished around in the coats pocket till coming across the container.

He retrieves it and pops a couple pills, "hey, thanks man, and next time ya wanna snatch my drugs I won't be so nice." Wilson staggered to his feet, his expression was one expected of a person who'd been duped into thinking the other was going along with them, when in fact it was quite the opposite.

He adjusts his coat, leaving House with a few final words, " you're on your own now, and if you screw up that kid because of your own assassin decisions, well, then, it all rest on your shoulders."


	9. Chapter 9

House was now looking at five months, still going over Wilson's words in his head. Contrary to popular belief he actually did care about the baby, and had to find some alternative ways to dealing with his leg pain.

Greg sat down in a chair next to the small, rounded metal table reserved for eating. His apartment tranquil yet again the only sound heard was that of the rain hitting the pavement outside.

He couldn't take another minute of silence, moving from his place in the chair to the couch, he takes a seat and grabs the remote. Letting the blare of the TV drown the absolute silence that surrounded him.

And just as it had happened before the phone rang, again the machine picked had gotten it. It was the hospital, this time involving a person in a head-on collision. Undoubtedly the slick roads were to blame.

House groans in complaint, he pushes through the main doors, he was in no mood to deal with people, particularly patients. He limps down the hall towards the ER, feeling a bit queasy he tries his best to shake the feeling.

Inside the room he could hear the sound of the defibrillator's being charged and the crash vic's heart rate plummet. In the blink of an eye, it was over the man was gone. "Time of death, 10:15," calls Foreman, the others hang their heads wishing it had turned out differently.

"Dammit," Cuddy curses a hair above a whisper, as they drape the white cloth over the body. "Well, guess you won't need me then," said House as he turns to leave the ER, just then Cuddy grabs him by the cuff of his suit sleeve.

"You're not goin' anywhere, someone's gotta break it to the family," her voice fairly tensed and tone ireful. House gives a slight huff, looking from the corpse back to Cuddy

"But mom.. he whined in his usual childish manner, "you always told me never to talk to strangers," she holds up a palm at him, " House please, I'm in no mood for your shit." In the end House wound up losing the battle and had to confront the solicitous family. House limps over to the trio, presumably the wife and their two sons.

House takes a breath and begins. " Sorry, but he didn't make it," the wife's eyes deepened with sorrow and suddenly the kids burst into tears. They had not taken it very well, apparently they must've though he'd pull through.

"He..he..mea..meant, ev..everything to me," sobbed the 30 something woman, House rolled his eyes, "oh please," he murmurs under his breath. "Listen lady, give me a bre..." before he could finish his flippant remark Cuddy pulls him aside.

"What the hell is wrong with you, she just lost a husband, those kids just lost their father?!" she said this with such anger it was almost like she was about to break down and cry herself. "I don't really feel like being all optimistic, things will be okay and that sorta crap," he gripes.

Cuddy brushes a strand of brown hair from her face and continues. "It's your job House, now I'm not sayin' you hafta be a freakin' Mr. Rodgers, but dammit show a little more respect then that,!" it was fairly rare that anything got to Cuddy, she was always the strong one, but at that moment it all became a little too much for her to handle.


	10. Chapter 10

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sorry about the few bad chapters that were posted, I hope this one is better!

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The day had not been going smoothly for Greg House. He awoke with the unpleasantness of morning sickness which he thought in all aspects should've been gone at this point, though, he found this cleared later on.

The hospital, as he expected it to be, was somewhat lifeless. Once again he finds himself at his desk in the office, his tennis ball stowed away in the top drawer. There was still that unanswered question of where he had laid the Gameboy, though eventually with any luck it'd turn-up somewhere. All this left now was his Ipod, which was fine by him.

He sets the earbuds in each ear, then with a quick motion of his index finger cranks the volume a couple decibels, ordinarily he'd be listening to The Who. But instead chose nu-metal band Three Days Grace. Not wanting to be left out of the loop of modern day rock and metal mainstream.

Listening to the oh-so-appropriate song 'Pain,' because no matter what the case, Gregory House was always made the main root and source of misery and sometimes even self hatred among others.

He bobs his head to the music, silently mouthing _Pain, can't get enough..pain, I like it rough, 'cause I'd rather feel pain than nothin' at all. _While busy strumming his 'air guitar' he was completely oblivious to the fact that Wilson was watching his little performance from the doorway and couldn't help but laugh at it all.

He approaches Greg, whom still is both blind and deaf to his presence, that was until he stepped in front of him. House's eyes trail upward slowly, without looking he shuts off the Ipod and shoves it in the bottom drawer.

"I had no idea you were a head banger?" said Wilson amongst slight chuckling, House just stares at him, that look of both aggravation and odd-like.

"Yea, whatever..whauddya' want?" he asks, his voice tinged with short bluntness. Wilson clears his throat a bit, "I, uh.. I heard you went on another night call, last night,?" he questions him with a raised brow.

House shrugs, " uh, yea..so what.. and the point of this is?" he asks, becoming more irritated with every passing second. "Point is, I thought I made it clear to you last week to stay off your feet."

House sighs, "gee... and here I thought a little while after that you said you're on your own, must've slipped my mind..tends to happen when you're pregnant." He responds in his usual, smart ass, malign way.

Wilson rubs at his face with his hands, " yea, I know I said that but still.." he was cut off by House's abrupt response, "Oh, please.. I'm like what?.three, four months?..I think I'll survive."

You could hear Wilson curse something under his breath, House then turns to his computer and forwards to the Internet. "Now, if you'll excuse me..there's like two or three pages of porn I haven't looked over yet."


	11. Chapter 11

As House made his way down the fairly empty halls he caught a glimpse of a woman entering through the main doors with a kid on one of those child leashes. And of course this gives House plenty of ammo to make a nasty comment.

"Hey lady.." he yells to the woman whom turns and faces the disdainful diagnostician.

She gives a questionable look, House then points with his cane to a sign posted on the wall diagonal the receptionist desk. "Can't you read?..it clearly states 'no pets allowed.'"

Though in reality it never stated those exact words, it was more of a sanitary matter. House just got a kick out of tormenting people then seeing the looks on their faces, which hers was priceless.

She appeared shocked which slowly turned to disgust, she scooped up her child leash and all and made her way out the doors as quickly as she had entered. He smiles confidently, it didn't matter what day of the week it was, making peoples lives a living hell was a reason for House to wake up in the mornings.

Though his basking- in- the- glory moment was cut short by one; Lisa Cuddy. "That's it House, you're on suspension, till you can shape up and stop harassing people, you're just one step closer to a lawsuit."

Her voice was tense, she meant business and House hated being the one on the receiving end. He turns to face her, his head starting to ache and a dull throbbing in his leg. He ignores this and shoots her a nonsensical look, a smirk appearing across his face.

"Alrighty...but then of course that'll mean the idiots will all be comin' to you for answers and we all know how buuusssy you are."

She hadn't seen that coming, he just played her in her own game. "Fine..fine, you're off suspension," she replies in short and heads towards room 1 down the hall. "Yeess," he mutters, then in a sort of celebratory way clenches a fist and thrusts it downward, the equivalent of giving the signal to a passing semi to blow it's horns.

He heads towards the conference room for a caffeine fix, forgetting that it went against his earlier thoughts and views on a certain subject. Wilson had his back to him as he made a cup of coffee at the connecting counter. House limps over to him and grabs the mug before he even had a chance to add sweetener.

"Whadd'ya think you're doin'?" he asks appearing confounded. House holds a finger up, silencing him for a second or two and takes a few hefty swigs. He smacks his lips, "_uhh, _drinkin' you're coffee..whadduze it look like?" he sets the now-emptied mug on the counter.

Wilson sighs, "what aren't you getting about no caffeine,?" he asked exasperatedly. House then takes a seat at the table, and runs a hand through his haggard brown hair in frustration.

"Oh, I understand it perfectly, just wanted to test you're patience, y'know..see how long it'll take before you go off the deep end and start goin' berserk." Wilson turns to re-pour his cup then directs his attention back on House. "Well, lucky for you have a high tolerance level," he says and grins smugly.


	12. Chapter 12

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well here you go guys, an actual longer chapter, the first in this whole story. Please Review!

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A patient had come in with some type of respiratory infection, which left House and the team literally back to the drawing board. As House began scribbling down symptoms and possible effects. 

He was then overcome by a sudden warming sensation, like the temperature in the room had escalated a few degrees or so. He sets the marker on the metal ledge of the board, he could feel the slight dampness surrounding the collar of his shirt.

"_Wheeww,_ god, is it hot in here or is it just me,?" he finds himself asking, but it was to no one in particular. The staff look at him oddly which had become commonplace to him. "Feels fine to me," responds Cameron whom was hesitant at first and not quite sure what to really think.

He pulls at his shirt collar with a couple fingers just to try and get some air circulating. He grabs his cane then heads for the glass doors. "Whoa, wait..where're you goin?" asks Chase perplexed, House had one foot out the door when he finally answered, " news stand..never got to read that last issue of Playboy."

He opens the main doors and a rush of cool breeze blew back his hair. He made his way across the overgrown, dew covered grass to an awaiting bench just a couple paces ahead. He takes a seat and stares up at the overcast skies, a mixture of dark grays and heavy cloud accumulation was to promise a wicked storm, he welcomed the pouring of rain to cool him off.

The maverick M.D. just sat there, taping the end of his cane on the ground, he needed time to himself, to gather his thoughts on this whole situation. He could feel the baby start to stir, it was hard to believe that by the next day would kick off an entirely new month, which meant only three grueling, languid and hellish more remained.

The rain had started to fall. He just closed his eyes and let it all soak in, and the wind had picked up once again. Just then he hears someone call his name, though it was difficult to actually determine between the roaring of gales and steady rainfall.

"House, whadduya doin' out here?" asks the figure, it came closer, the nearby trees had begun to sway under the intense gusts of wind. House immediately realizes the mysterious figure was actually that of Alison Cameron.

"You're gonna catch your death out here," she tried talking above the fierce howling. She hands him a cup of something steaming. "What the hell is this?" he asks looking at it as though it was poisoned.

In reality there probably wasn't a person in the world that wouldn't be tempted to spike his drinks. He takes a sip and wrinkles his nose. "Oh, glaa.. here..not my cup of tea," he shoves it back in her hands. She starts chuckling, which he proceeds to shoot her that 'what the hell' look. "Y'know..uh..it's funny, 'cause this is tea." Right then his mind flashes to Wilson.

Why would anyone automatically give him tea, when they knew he drank coffee? He gets to his feet, leaning heavy on the cane to try and lift the rest of his extra weight up. "Need a hand?" asks Cameron her voice still trying to overcome the wicked sounds of blasting gales.

"No..no, I'm fine," he responds gruffly, no longer did he have to worry about heat stroke. Both enter and all House was set on was strangling Wilson. Stacy heads in an opposite direction to check on the respiratory infected patient.

House on the other hand makes a bee-line for the conference room. The team had split, they weren't going to wait around for Greg forever, and it had already been a half hour. To his rarely-witnessed delight Wilson suddenly enters the room. House gives a fake smile, the one reserved for those he wanted to just whack with his cane.

"Oh, House..you're back, thought you..", once again he is cut short. "Save it Wilson!" he retorts, his mood sour. "Thanks to you the entire freakin' hospital knows about this whole screwed-up situation.

He looks at House bewildered, "but, I..I never said anything," his voice sounding slightly tense. He didn't know how or why but something told him that Wilson wasn't lying. "Alright then, the question remains, if you didn't then who did?"


	13. Chapter 13

* * *

I apoligize ahead of time if this chapter isn't the greatest, I'm running out of ideas for the other ones. Oh, and I just wanted to say that I've only seen House a few times and that's the reason for some of the names being incorrect.

* * *

It was Tuesday, the beginning of the sixth and leaving House just as malcontent and sinistral as he'd ever been. Trying to fight back a migraine in combination of a throbbing leg and constant kicking from the baby, it'd be nothing short of a miracle if all his staff went home alive.

He walks into the conference room, everyone looked as though they hadn't slept in days. The respiratory patient had been diagnosed not a couple hours earlier and transferred to recovery.

He had been suffering from an upper respiratory infection stemming from a minor case of pneumonia. House's eyes swept the room, trying to figure out who could've leaked the information. The hard part was zeroing in. It was a risqué move, but he went for the direct approach and asked the entire team.

"Alright.._ohh_.. I need to ..hmm..know, which one of you morons shot off their big mouth about a certain, confidential matter?" he asks, his voice gruff.

Adding to this array of different ailments was the recent discovery of a few small sporadic moments where he was short of breath. At times he even found himself nearly winded when he went to speak, though some would find this as a blessing.

Once again the team gave him odd looks, though House was positive that whomever it was the whole classified issue needed no explanation, they would already be familiar with the topic of discussion.

Though it seemed no one had a clue to what he was rambling on about, thats when a particular nervous feeling arose, one that began flooding throughout his entire body. He just screwed himself, bringing up a matter he was convinced was leaked when all along the only ones that remained knowledgeable of it was Wilson and himself.

Though not the entirety of the matter was all bad, they were still perplexed from the start, though of course this doesn't stop House. Whom was still convinced that someone had somewhat of an idea of what was going on, he couldn't of just stopped while he was ahead.

"What in the hell are you talking about House?" asks Cameron an eyebrow raised in befuddlement. House saw this as his opportunity to strike, asking her about the tea.

"I guess what..mm.. I'm.. tryin' to get at here is, why'd you bring me that crap yesterday when you knew I drank coffee.?"

Now her look was something of awe, she wasn't sure where exactly this was leading. "I..I just gave you that so you'd have something warm?..where are you goin' with this?" her voice was fairly vexed.

House sighs, it was now the end of the line, time to throw in the towel and come clean about it all. Though not a person in the world would believe him, hell, for a while there he didn't even believe himself.

"Alright..truth is..I'm..uh, I'm pregnant," his voice nearly muffled towards the end. Everyone sat there, wide-eyed, they were literally speechless.

It was as though someone had announced for the first time in history that they actually found a cure for cancer. The room was silent for what seemed like an eternity. House took this opportunity to take a load off. He plopped down in the chair to his left, it was getting to the point he couldn't be on his feet for long periods of time.

His ankles would swell, his back ache and the cramping was almost unbearable. He propped his tired feet on the ottoman, flipped through a few pages of some muscle car magazine and just waited till someone said something, anything.


	14. Chapter 14

House continued scanning the pages, it was like being in the middle of a game show, all he waited for now was the Jeopardy jingle to start playing.

"House..uh..I'm sorry but, are you on something..y'know other then Vicodin?"

Questioned Chase, his tone sounded almost unsteady, House momentarily looks up from his reading. "God.. one joint and you people are all over me,"

He cracks in his usual smart-ass manner, though of course he just liked messing with their heads. And as far as they knew the whole reefer thing was entirely false but then again, it was House after all, and he was unpredictable.

They all exchanged odd looks, Cameron thought back to the nearly two months ago and how he looked slightly different then, she also recalled joking around with him about the weight.

Maybe this wasn't a fabrication..'yeah', and then maybe Paris will actually go to prison. She wasn't sure how to take this, of course the entire team was in stupor and dubious over this whole matter no one was sure what to think.

A minute had passed until they all got up and headed out the room. Foreman scratching the back of his neck almost nervous-like, Chase shaking his head as though he had splashed cold water on his face to jolt him awake.

And Cameron both wide eyed and exhaling slowly. For the remaining part of his shift his team acted as though he was a leper. Going to say something then hesitate and just hand him a file or something.

Wilson catches up with him a bit later, "so, you told 'em, hey?..that was intelligent," he said sarcastically.

House just pushes ahead, "idiot..I didn't mean for it to happen, I thought one of them found out," he responds bitterly.

Of course Wilson wasn't finished ragging on him, "sooo..I guess this means you'll qualify for Mothers Day _next_ year, eh?" he asks, snickering a bit.

House shot him a wicked look, "I'd shut up if I were you..I don't wanna have to explain to police how your body wound up in the Hudson."

His chuckling is immediately halted. House limps to his office, with Wilson going in an opposite direction. He was almost due for another check-up in a couple days, but this being the least of his worries.

He felt nearly exhausted as he plopped down in the chair. He could hardly wait till _this _was all over. It was no small feat to lug 20 or so additional pounds. Just as his mind had started to drift Cuddy walked into his office.

"I..I don't know how to put this.." she begins, her tone sounding anxious, House sighs, "then leave," he responds shortly. She stares at him coldly for a second.

"What I mean is..what's this talk of you bein'..uhh?.." she drifts off once again, which House quickly follows up by, "knocked up?," he inquired in his usual weird way, brows raised and a crooked- like smile.


	15. Chapter 15

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sorry but this' another short chapter, but I hope you guys like it, please review!

* * *

And as fully expected she too began to distance herself from House upon hearing this very bizarre news. This as it seemed he found no problem with, the less people around him the better.

Though eventually at one point or another someone was bound to come to him with a question and try to finagle some form of an answer. And it didn't take long till one of the lackeys had approached their superior.

"Patient with possible cerebral hemorrhaging, should we operate..get a suction and?.." before Chase could finish House had that impulsive instinct to cut him short.

"Yeah, that's all _very _interesting.really, however, I gotta pee..like now," he responds sardonically, taking one hand he places it on Chase's shoulder and fairly shoves him to the side.

"Uhh hello, what about the patient?" he asks flustered, calling after him. "Whatever..suck his brains out..don't care," he responds bluntly.

Chase gave a huff of frustration and left, still a bit cranked to have been shoved out of the way like he had, but that was definitely not a concern of House's. One that was however was making it in time, there was _only_ so much pressure he was able to withstand.

He regretted taking a swig of that Red Bull upon walking through those main doors at mid morning. It was like some gymnastics event unfolding within his abdomen. He'd been off the Vicodin for about 1_1/2_ months now and it was killing him, he found some relief in Icy Hot patches for his lower back and Tums to settle his stomach.

But for the sake of the baby he didn't want to take the risk and resort back to the pills, the possibility of premature delivery or some type of life altering trauma ran high. There was even a point in time were he questioned on whether he wanted to keep it or not.

But since he lived alone in a placid, mundane apartment complex it'd be nice to have the company. Though there was no way in the world he'd share that bit of inner thought with anyone, he would take it to his grave. After finishing business he starts heading back to the office only to be stopped by Chase.

"Patient flat lined, but we brought him back with the defibrillator's.." he gave up finishing the sentence as he could tell that yet again House was not paying one bit of attention.

Though a smart-ass remark or response was always his prime focus, "awww, did you want a gold star?" he replies in a semi-sarcastic and almost demeaning sort of way. Chase threw up his hands, ending this nonsensical and potential battle of words. Suddenly his pager goes off, the patient heart rate was plummeting.

He leaves without saying anything, it was likely to be ignored anyway. House finds himself back in the office once again, he'd become fatigued, finding solace to just sit and relax in his chair for a few minutes.


	16. Chapter 16

* * *

this is a semi-long chapter, I'm sorry they've all been so short, but there's only so much I can think up for one page and it's not that much, just one suggestion though: to make all the chapters seem longer I'd try minimizing the page, that way, you can read on longer. hope everyone likes this chapter.

* * *

The day had come for his monthly routine exam, and of all the others listed on calender pages, it had to be that Friday. House was in rare form, 'this', attributed to an array of various moods was in full swing. 

Wilson walks into his office to inform him, and fortunately for him House was dead to the world, his head tilted back almost completely over the chairs backing.

Droll beginning to trickle down his chin from a gap between a pair of insensitive, chapping lips. Wilson wanted to be alert at all times, there was that slight chance Greg would chuck something at his head.

It was a probable death sentence, but it had to be done. "Uhh, Greg?..you have a ..um. an exam scheduled,"

Wilson spoke in a combination of both meek and nervousness. House stirred slightly in his chair, he groaned and shifted to his left side.

Wilson takes a few steps forward, now standing aside his desk, his arm extended and hand settled on the desks top for support. "House, c'mon," his voice a bit more forced, though still tensed.

His eyes slowly open, his vision blurred, until a second or two afterwards Wilson comes into view. "Wha..what the hell do you want!?" he asks discontented, eyes becoming squinted, still trying to adjust to the light.

"You..ah..you have an exam today..just thought..I'd..uh, let ya know," House looked as though he could kill someone. "You woke me up just to tell me that?"

He had that certain look, one that could pierce a hole right through you. Wilson swallowed nervously, waiting for at any second for the cursing and throwing of any blunt objects.

Again, luck was on his side, House was a bit too fatigued to be maiming people or shouting every profanity in the book. Greg sighed, "uh, help me up, will ya."

Wilson chuckles lightly, grabs for his hand and pulls him up, though it took quite a bit of effort. House immediately begins griping, what Wilson perceived as being 'senseless rambling'.

"damn.. guess this means I'll hafta cancel my lap dance appointment with the hooker.. given recent circumstances, it'll make the whole thing..well. rather awkward."

James rolls his eyes, "I think you'll live," he chimed with a slight laugh, as the two made their way towards radiology Wilson pipes up and asks the question that had been eating at him from the very beginning.

"I never did ask..but.. how the hell did you become..well..y'know?" he inquired, gesturing towards the bump which was somewhat concealed underneath his gray suit coat.

The pain in his leg had started to flare, he grits his teeth a bit and treads on, trying, as he usually did nowadays to ignore it.

"It was the damnedest thing..couple tequila shots and next thing I knew I was in some skanky hotel on the East side with some chick named Mona". Wilson shoots him an odd look, "I meant the real reason, House," he replies somewhat wearisome.

He was sick of going through several sarcastic retorts until landing on an actual answer. "Alright fiiinee.." he drew out, "I took pills and the rest is history..there..happy now!?"

His voice slowed towards the end for affect, Wilson shoots him yet another strange look, "no really..how did it happen?"


	17. Chapter 17

Among the few things Greg actually found 'fun,' getting an ultrasound exam was definitely not one of them. "You know the drill," said Wilson whilst cheeking the machine to see if it was running properly.

House sighed and eased himself onto the bed, what was once known as a fairly trim physique was now the picture of unsightly stretch marks and slightly wider hips. The thing he hated even more then the exam was the gel that was applied, there was a gob of it in Wilson's gloved hand ready to be spread, till House, of course, had to say something.

"Hey..hey..give ya ten bucks if you grease the hallway with that crap and wait till Foreman walks by." Said House, his tone low, Wilson exhaled jadedly.

"Forget it House..I'm not gonna be held responsible for a multitude of possible injuries just so you can get a laugh out of it."

House just gives a slight huff, "uh..fiiiinnee..be that way..boring," Wilson rolls his eyes and applies the gel, it felt cold when coming into contact with his skin, initially causing him to flinch a bit.

"Damn, that stuffs cold, can't you get something..I dunno..a little 'less' cold?"

He asks in a sardonic-like tongue. Wilson ignores this and slides the scope along the abdominal region.

"Ah..everything looks good..she's developing normally," he said, then slid the scope further down, "it seems she's attached herself near the pancreas.. in a quarter of the stomach muscle cavity."

House gives him that 'are you stupid look,' "and you were planning on telling me that part when?" his sarcasm setting in.

Wilson shuts off the machine and responds, "it's not as serious as you may think.." House just laughs a bit at the very mention of such a thing.

"Whoa..okay..so let me get this straight... I have a thing attached to one of my major organs and you say it's not serious?"

Wilson exhales aloud, "I didn't say it was attached to your pancreas, I said it was 'near' it,"

"_Phhff, _whatever," House retorts, sliding off the bed, he pulls up his gray sweatpants a bit, these of which happened to be the only thing that seemed to fit lately.

"So..uhh..you think of any names yet?" asks Wilson as House was making his way out the room. And as fully expected his response was something of satirical.

"As a matter of fact I have..I've narrowed it down to either Orange or Star Gazer," Wilson just shakes his head. "Oh c'mon..you can't be serious,?"

He gave a sort of simulated-like shocked expression, "whaaat?..the movie stars get to do it but I can't?.. I find that a bit bias, don't you?"

Wilson sighs and follows close behind. Chase sees the two and catches up to them, "hey, whattcha guys up ta?" he questions, his Australian coming in thick. "Well, Mr. One-Sided here.." said House directing his thumb back towards the oncologist, "says I can't name the parasite Orange.. now how unfair is that?"

Wilson rubbed at his face again, hoping that the humiliating feeling that coursed through his body would end at any second. Chase stared at the two dumbfounded and odd-like. Chase shook his head a bit as though he was coming out of a train of thought, he was totally lost.

"Uhh..okaaayyy..um..anyways, Cuddy and the rest of us are going to the pub in a couple hours, wanna join?"

He had completely forgotten about the slip-up and recent announcing of House's 'condition.' Wilson could practically see the 'begging' in House's eyes. Wilson glances over at Chase, " uhh..we'll get back to you on that one." Suddenly Chase's pager goes off yet again, a patient in ICU was going into an absence seizure.

"Right, then," he responds in short and takes off hurriedly down the halls.

"Oooh, can I go..pleeeeassseee,?" House begs, much like a five year old would for a candy bar or something. Wilson rolls his eyes once again, "I don't think so..remember, there's another life to consider other then your own."

Wilson's tone moderate, House huffs a bit, continuing to push ahead, responding brusquely. "Blah..blah..blah.." he begins doing little hand movements to indicate talking, just to mock Wilson. "I'm gettin' a Fuzzy Navel."


	18. Chapter 18

So there they were a couple hours later, the bar reeked of cigarette smoke and bad-ass biker dudes that apparently hadn't heard of the word deodorant. Nevertheless they were there to try and unwind, forget hospital protocol and just BS.

They all take a seat at the barstools, two small televisions occupied the corners of the left and right wall. Music somewhat muffled from the speakers, something classic rock and the sound of pool sticks striking a specific ball with dead-on accuracy.

"What can I get for you ma'am?" asks the barkeep to Cuddy, she smiles at the handsome, young man and pushes back her dark curly hair. "Oh..uh..martini, please," she responds somewhat softly.

'_Flirt' _House coughed from a couple stools over, Cuddy shoots him a wicked look, "remember..I meant what I said about the cane," her voice trying to overcome the commotion of the pool table in the background.

House just rolls his eyes, "oh, please," he spoke under his breath, the man had finished with Chase and Cameron's orders and now the only ones left were Wilson and House. "And what can get for you guys?"

"Just an ale, thanks," said James, the man gets the order to paper then turns to House, "and for you sir?"

Greg could hear Wilson clear his throat, to suggest a warning before doing anything senseless, and both knew very well what that was. House grumbles a bit, "uh just a Vernors, I guess," he mutters not looking up from the counter.

The man bends down to retrieve glasses and mugs from their place under the counter. He then proceeds to turn to the shelves of liqueur behind him to prepare the drinks. House felt as though he could snap at any moment, Vicodin deprived, including alcohol-related limitations.

And not to mention the nearly 61/2 months of sheer hell. A few minutes later their drinks are set in front of them. The man with beer mug in hand, cleans the inside with a rag, then disappears into some back room. No sooner did Wilson's lips touch the rim of the mug, House snatches it.

"Wha..what do you think you're doin'?!" he asks a tad aggravated, which just went against everything said earlier about having a high tolerance, however there was a limit.

"If I can't drink neither can you," he snaps, Wilson shakes his head lightly, he wasn't sure how much more of this he could handle.

"Look, just because you have to suffer doesn't mean we all have to..now give me the frickin' mug."

"You know, if you'd just say please.. I'd given you your damn beer back already," he responds with a smirk, "fine..please," he sighs, House slides the mug over to him.

Cuddy watches, taking all this into account knew the perfect way to strike back, she holds the long-stemmed glass to her lips, making sure she had complete eye contact with House. "Hey House..?" she calls to him, he then turns his head towards her direction.

She takes a few sips of the drink and sets it back down on the coaster, "_ahh,_ nothing like a mix of vodka and gin to calm your nerves..you should try one.." She pauses, giving the appearance of thinking then resumes, with a slight laugh. "Oh, almost forgot.. you can't."


	19. Chapter 19

"Is doctor House available?" this enquiry came from a young woman directed towards Wilson. He dreaded this because of one main reason.  
It involved him having to bother House to get him to come and meet with this woman.

And taking into consideration that he was now at seven months, Wilson would differently be in need of backup.  
He couldn't very well fare it alone, it'd make for a very unpleasant situation.

"I will..ah.. try and track him down for ya..okay," he tells the woman, a bit of uneasiness in his voice.  
Whom nods her head lightly in understanding. He spots Cameron making her way towards the recovery wing.

"Got a sec?..I don't dare venture in Greg's office alone," she looks from the file she was carrying to him.

She tries to contain herself from laughing, " that scary, huh?" she asks, finally exhaling a chuckle or two. They bypass recovery and head straight for the office.  
"the nurses can hold down the fort in recovery for the meantime.."

Said Cameron, she takes in a deep breath, "let's get this over with,"  
Wilson's hand tremors as he reaches for the doorknob. A distinctive click then the creaking of the old wooden door opening could be heard.

"Uhh..House?" calls Wilson nervously in question as he peered around the room from the doorway, the place was empty.  
"If he's not here that means there's only one other place he can be.." said Cameron, breaking the almost eery-like silence.

"Conference room,"

Both said almost in unison, both made their way further down the halls till coming upon their destination. House, with earbuds jammed in each ear, volume midway cranked.  
Siting in the leather chair, his feet, once again are rested on the ottoman, a pillow for his back is propped up behind him.

He catches the couple in the corner of his eye, but wasn't about to move.  
"What, somebody die?" he asks a tad irritated and brow raised. Wilson shook his head lightly, "uh..noo, but there's a woman by reception that needs to see you."

(Why, I don't know) was the words that came shrilling into Wilson's mind. Cameron saw no _real "_danger_" _and therefore her being there would become otiose.  
He could tell right away that what he had said to House was inappreciable and as always, likely to be ignored.

"Alright, I'm leavin'" She said and turns to head out the doorway, "whoa..wait..you can't leave me, what about.?" Wilson drifts off and tilts his head slightly towards House, their voices at somewhat of a whisper.

"What about me?" House exclaims from the chair and shoves the Ipod in his side pants pocket. "You'll be fine..besides..he..he's.pregnant.._ha.._I mean..c'mon, what's the worst he can do?"

Both chuckle amongst themselves, leaving House in somewhat of a stupor, they way they conversed as though he wasn't even there.  
House sorta waves a hand at them, "uhh hello?..pregnant guy, sittin' right here!"


	20. Chapter 20

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Sorry if this is a bad chapter, I tried to make it a cliff-hanger. Also, the reason for Wilson wanting bakup in the previous chapter was he was just simply freaked out to enter the office or conference room alone with House being even more cantankerous then usual.

* * *

"I swear this better be worth it," 

House rants as both him and Wilson make their way down the halls to meet with the awaiting woman. Wilson tunes this out, as he usual did and continued fourth. She wore a small smile, her auburn hair pulled back in a hair tie, dressed smartly and seemed pleasant enough. She got up to shake hands with the saturnine M.D.

"Nice to finally meet you doctor House, I'm Shannon Doyle"

She said amicably, Wilson on the other hand found to be laughing a bit to himself upon hearing this, just a minute with the man and that would quickly change her tune. House hated introductions, though he sucked it up, grinned and bared it. It was at that moment he caught a whiff of some potent perfume.

Of course this was contributed to his semi-recent, almost superhuman-like sense of smell. Wilson however only got a weak presence, it was never as strong as House made it to be. Greg turns his head a bit to the side to try and escape the lingering stench of flowers and what smelled like low tide, at which he nearly gaged.

She stared at him oddly when House turned away, but said nothing. And although this woman was cordial, she did not however slip under House's criticism radar. He couldn't resist it any longer, he just had to make a tactless comment.

"God, lady..what'd'ya do?.bathe in that crap you call perfume?"

Wilson just shook his head slowly almost in shame, " never learns..never" he muttered to himself. Needless to say she never returned after that incident. Apparently from word-of-mouth, this woman was a fellow pharmacy rep to doofus.

"Why'd you hafta do that?" asks Wilson a little miffed about the remark.

"Well duuhh..it's fun,"

He draws out in reply and starts heading back towards the conference room. With Wilson taking the opposite way to the ICU. He resumes his sitting in the chair and listening to the Ipod. But the sounds of clicking heels drawing nearer to the room was enough to grab his attention, even with the music at moderate level.

It was Cuddy, and by the look on her face, all was not well. "House..take out the frickin' earphones!" she demanded her voice almost at a yell, he sighs and turns off the device then looks at her with a bit of irritation.

"Y'know, that skirt must be riddin' up more than I.." before he was to finish the almost harassment-tinged sentence, he was stopped short. "Enough already!".. she barked.

"That woman you just offended happened to be a pharmaceutical rep from the outskirts of Jersey.."

She continues, her voice was anything but pleasant. "Yea..I know," House answers, somewhat like an impatient, annoyed teenager.

"Well here's somethin' I bet you didn't.." she starts to explain almost exasperatedly, House gives a phony gasp and responds "she's gay?" looking wide eyed.

In turn he received a nasty glare, "no dammit.." she sighs, "she or another rep, which I'm guessing is the one from awhile back.."

"Oh yea, fat ass," he responds with a smirk, again another nasty look. "Annnyways..she continues once more through what looked to be slightly gritted teeth of seer frustration.

"I was suppose to be getting a type of prescription from one of them, but never did _obviously_.." she emphasizes and shoots an acquisitive glare towards Greg. Suddenly House was overwhelmed by a weird feeling.

_He knew Cuddy was trying to conceive some time ago but it never happened. What if the pills he took were in fact meant for her? __And the warning was just to alert anyone else that happened to be taking them for other non-baby related_ _reasons to be cautious, because of that exact outcome._ There was only one way to find out,

"Di..did those pills happen to be labeled as Fisac?" he questions nervously, she takes a moment to ponder. "Yeah, as a matter of fact they were..why?" she asks, the question in her eyes.

"Oh.. no reason, really."


	21. Chapter 21

sorry this is so short, but I hope it's funny

* * *

This was not one of the things House wanted to hear. It was bad enough to discover he was housing a parasite, but even worse was finding out it was Cuddy's. He takes a stroll down the hall, putting about half his weight on the cane. 

Wilson catches him in the corner of his eye, and starts to walk swiftly to stay even with him.

"What's with you..I mean, besides the usual?"

He questions him with a raised brow. House gives a huff of disgruntlement, his eyes shifting downward, upon the fairly conspicuous bump, then immediately travel back up and forward.

"I'm carrying Satan's spawn..that's what's with me,"

He replies slightly curt, and since Wilson had not heard a word of the whole _baby-making_ drugs intended for Cuddy, but wound up in House's hands, story, Greg thought he'd enlighten him.

When all was said and done Wilson was more or less shocked by it, and reasonably so.

"Man, tough break," he responds, trying his damnedest not to snicker.

Though this time Wilson was fully convinced of the fortuitous result in taking the pills, no longer did he have doubts on the once, thought to be fabled, reason behind his unusual condition. It wasn't long after their brief chat that House decided to pay a visit to Cuddy's office.

Her head bowed, eyes scanning an array of paperwork, unaware that House had entered.

"Y'know, since I happen to be the one carrying_ your _kid, I think it's only fair you relieve me of any clinic whatever for the remainder of this nightmare."

His tone dry, he takes a seat at one of two chairs lined alongside the wall. She sighs slightly, her eyes drifting over to were House had been siting, then direct back towards the paper.

"Your just looking for an excuse to get out of working.." she responds, her voice slightly risen, she knew she was right.

"You've made it this far, you can stick it out for another month."

"Two months,"

He corrected her, she sighs again, brushing the few strands of hair from her face. "I'll think about it," she replies in a breathy-like tone. House gradually gets to his feet and starts limping towards the door.

"well, make it quick..otherwise, you'll have a nasty little clean up on your hands should this thing decide to make an _early _appearance"

He notices her face sorta contort at the very thought of it. A small smile of satisfactory starts to form, as he made his his way down the halls, knowing that, that was enough to churn Cuddy's stomach.

And possibly get the ball rollin' on possible early dismissal, every so often he had to push the envelop to get things done. And if that meant causing a few to feel sick to their stomachs then so be it.


	22. Chapter 22

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sorry for the wait..writters block, anyways I hope this chapter isn't too terrible. It's getting harder and harder to think up more stuff for chapters, and I wanna try and make this 30 pages long, but I dunno, it might be cut short.

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As month seven came and went he was now looking in the direct path of the eighth, three weeks into it to be exact. And with no word yet on whether or not Cuddy had made up her mind on leave. 

House limps down the hall, he notices she's at her desk and yet again slumped over a considerable amount of various medical forms. She hears the distinct tapping of his cane and lifts her head.

She looks up and out into the halls to see him standing outside her doorway. It was at this moment he purposely peered down at his bare wrist, and in a semi-repeated way started poking at the sharp, raised bone with his index finger.

He looks up after a couple seconds and gives her that smirk, she shakes her head, a small smile forming at the corners of her mouth, though her eyes appeared wearisome.

"Still waiting,"

House said with a sigh-like tone, he then ambles into her office taking a seat in the chair he had sat in on the previous visit. He strums his fingers on the armrest, it was a response he was now waiting on.

"Alright House, you can take leave..but. I expect you back here within a month or two after the baby's born."

He shoots her a questionable look, "am..am I missin' something here?" he asks, his voice slightly raised with an equally questionable tone.

She appears confounded, "m-i-s-s-ing what?.. she finds herself asking as well, her words coming out rather slow and lengthened as she grew more perplexed.

House took a fairly deep breath, "I mean.. your just as much involved in this as I am.." He then reverts back to his usual weird, little tone.

"And so far this has not been a 'we' discussion..y'know I think it would be a great idea if you could partake in the _joys_ of parenthood, such as feeding, changing and all that fun baby crap that goes along with it."

There was almost that certain amount of fear and shock, you could see it in her eyes, everything was sinking in all at once. Though she was able to look past this and became rather thankful for the fact House was carrying her child, even if it was accidental to begin with.

"Uh, House..?"

She finds herself asking, somewhat nervously. House turns his head slightly in her direction, "what?" he responds course-like, she gets up from her office chair and takes the seat beside him.

"I..uh.. I just wanna thank you for this, I ah..I know it's not easy, especially for you to..ah. dowhat you've been doing for the past 81/2 months."

He uses the armrests to push himself up on his feet. Letting whatever words Cuddy had just uttered fly right over his head.

"Uh House..I'm thanking you..the least you can do is listen."

She had that slight edge to her voice, as House reached the doorway he quipped, "I just went through nearly four months of morning sickness..nauseating gratitudes is the last thing I need right now."


	23. Chapter 23

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Hope you guys like this chapter, Please review!

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He didn't know what it was, either nervousness of the fact that it was now only a matter of days, maybe even hours. Or restlessness with a mixture of question and doubt that still filled his mind. Whatever the reason he just couldn't stay in his apartment.

It was becoming almost overwhelming to look over and see a crib where the working desk once stood. In addition to this unwanted rearrangement, the right corner wall at which a chair had it's place for as long as Greg could remember was now occupied by a changing table.

He wanted to escape and since his choices of places to go were limited, he settled for dropping by at the hospital, no way in the world was he about to go on bed rest. When Cuddy saw him walking, or waddle rather through the doors her brows furrowed as though she was trying to figure something out, and in a way she sorta was.

"I..I thought you were on leave?"

She asks as a very pregnant House makes his way sluggishly down the halls, his mind drifting elsewhere.

"Was..but I know how much you guys would miss me, so here I am..consider it an early Christmas gift."

Cuddy shook her head, chuckling a bit as she replied, "not exactly the words _I_ had in mind,"

The couple had reached midway when suddenly the sound of water splashing, striking the tiled floors was all that could be heard.

"Oh crap"

House muttered, he stopped dead in his tracks and stared down at his now sopping jeans. Cuddy's look of concern as her eyes shifted from the puddle of amniotic fluid at his feet to House.

It was obvious that the time was now, "o..okay House, we need to get you to the ER, now..right now,"

Her voice was shaky, but there was that other part of her that was somewhat elated at the thought that in a few short hours she'd be holding their baby girl in her arms for the very first time.

She immediately pages the team to prep the ER, they were going to have to preform a cesarean section on House, seeing that a natural birth was not an option. Cameron came flying from what seemed like out of nowhere pushing a wheelchair hastily through the halls. House's brow shoots up inquisitively.

"Is this really necessary..?" he asks glancing over at the chair, "I sprung a leak was all."

Regardless of his refusal, he was more or less forced into the chair and taken to the East Wing. As he was nearing the rooms doors, a sharp pang flooded his rib and abdominal section. He closed his eyes, gritting his teeth as a contraction tore through him like a hot knife through butter.

Nine grueling months had led up to this moment, a moment that no one would soon forget.


	24. Chapter 24

House lay there on the table, pain shooting through him that would make even the most un-fazed person drop to his knees. Cuddy stands beside him, not leaving his side for anything.

His breathing was hard and sweat beginning to form on his forehead, the sort of ironical part of all this was it was September the 3rd , Labor Day. His eyes tightly shut just as another contraction hit.

"Drug me now!"

He demanded, what he wouldn't give for an entire bottle of Vicodin.

"We can only administer a small dose of anesthetics." Explained Cameron, whose words were muffled by the surgical mask.

"_Phff_.._Figures,"_ he thought, it was a short time after the administration that the anesthetics began to take effect. His hand in Cuddy's as both await somewhat nervously for what was to soon take place.

Foreman takes the scalpel and diligently makes an incision, the room was practically silent except for that of some muffled talking overs of one another and the excessive beeping of the heart monitoring machine.

It was only a half hour later that House's weary eyes had opened to the sound of an infant wailing. His vision trying to adjust to see that Cuddy was cradling the tiny blanket swathed newborn in her arms.

"I think someone wants to see you,"

She coos to the little one and walks over to the side of House's bed. The others look on without a word as Cuddy every so gently placed the baby on House's chest. With House's vision finally adjusted he peers down at the precious life he now held in his arms.

Her tiny hands with equally small fingers reach out, almost like grasping at the air, taking in this strange new world around her.

"Hey you.." he spoke softly, "'bout time you got here,"

Cuddy chuckles a bit and beams as she watches them both from the bedside. She had Cuddy's hair, no denying that. And even though it was slightly plastered to her tiny head from the afterbirth you could still make out the few little wisps that somewhat curled at the ends.

Her tiny eyes began to open, revealing the brightest blue any of the staff, including House and Cuddy had ever seen. House stroked the fine dark hairs on her head, speaking to her as gently as he knew how.

"Well, we'll leave you three alone then"

Said Chase as the medical trio made their way out the door, Cameron turning and smiling at them both one last time before leaving the room. The baby made faint, little noises as she stared up at both her parents.

"House we..we haven't even picked out a name for her"

Exclaims Cuddy, almost feeling ashamed that they hadn't. House studied the tiny infants face for a moment, her blue eyes begin to close as she draws her tiny fingers and hands back into the blanket.

"Well, I'm partial to Orange myself"

He said in his weird, jokingly sort of way with fingers fanned out on his chest as he gestured to himself just waiting for Cuddy to bite. She just shook her lightly, giving a small smile.

"I don't think so House..wha, what about...uh, Kirstin, I've always thought of that as a nice name"

House rolled his eyes and sighed, "ahh fiiinee be that way..so much for being original"


	25. Chapter 25

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sorry for the long delay guys, I was a little apprehensive about writing the last chapter when considering how bad 24 was. And I'm sorry for the mistake made in the last chapter as well. For going from ER to another room, but didn't explain it. I'm sorry. I hope this' better..enjoy! & thank you for all the reviews, much appreciated.

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"She has your eyes," said Cuddy smiling down at the tiny infant. House gives a sort of huff and tries to stretch his bummed leg out a bit.

His brows furrow as if he was thinking something over in his mind.

He examines the newborns face for a moment.

"Why by golly.." he begins to state sarcastically, "I believe you're right, she does bear a striking resemblance to me."

Cuddy just shakes her head and sighs, she wanted to nail him back for the slightly rude comment but decided it was best to keep to herself.

Seeing as House _was _the one who had carried her child throughout those 9 long months. Just then the sound of footsteps could be heard as Chase entered the room.

"Have we thought of any names, eh?"

He came questioning as he neared the couple, both Cuddy and House peer down at the tiny bundle whose tiny fingers tried grasping around House's thumb.

House sighs slightly, "she thought of the name.." he explains nodding his head towards Lisa, " well, go ahead, tell Crocodile Dundee here what you told me."

Both Chase and Cuddy roll their eyes, Chase wasn't too fond of the Australian-related cracks that House at times made reference to.

"Well..I believe we've chosen Kirstin..Kirstin Dae,"

Chase begins to jot this down for future source in her birth certificate. House on the other hand proceeded to give her his typical 'what the hell' look.

"What?"

She asks looking a bit confounded, the end of House's mouth had raised to a slight curl as a small smile crept across his face at the thought of explaining the reason to her.

Again she repeated the question, only this time there was a bit more force behind it, as she was sick of waiting for a response that seemed to take hours.

"Dae?.. oh please Lisa, you can't be serious?"

Chase looked from one to the other. "Well, I guess I should be goin' then," he spoke meekly and left the room to have the name printed and certificate documented.

"I am serious House..why do you have such a problem with this?"

Her voice had risen, though she still had that complexed look in her eyes. House finds himself sighing once again.

"Because, when I think Dae, I think of the ones that make up a week..which escalates to about 30 per month ultimately ending with the 364 a year."

She shoots him a look, "you idiot!" she said, her tone once again slightly risen. Which now was House's turn to be asking the 'what?'

"I didn't mean _day_ as in a week, I meant it d-a.." House suddenly cuts her off, "look, I don't give a crap what letters you use.. I'm sick of arguing this mute topic."

When all finally seemed settled Wilson enters, he had yet to meet the Plainsborough's newest little medico. "Sooo, this' the little munchkin, huh?"

He asks as his eyes drift over to the sleeping infant still cradled in her father-er- mother's arms. Even after having undergone an hour or so cesarean section it had not taken away his sarcastic drive and occasional undertones.

"Gee, you see any other guys around here popin' out kids..though if you do I would like to meet the fellow, I was thinkin' we could swap stories and maybe afterwards set up _play dates."_

Wilson just shook his head, there was no escaping House's mockery and at many times sardonic demeanor. And he wasn't even about to try to give a retort to Greg's usual quip, it wasn't worht the effort.

Cuddy shot him yet another look, though she found this only proved pointless when it was House it involved. Wilson caught a glimpse of the little girls face and eyes upon heading for the door.

He only had a minuscule amount of time to stay before having to leave to deal with accumulating paperwork.

"Well, congrats guys.." he said whilst drawing nearer to the doorway. Cuddy gave a small smile, thanking him for his concerns and kind words.

The back of Greg's head buried further into the pillow, he could feel his daughters breathing on his chest as the ribcage and her chest as well began to rise and fall.

It wouldn't be long till one of the staff took Kirstin to the nursery, though for the time being they wanted to stay as far away from House as humanly possible, as to not be a part of his usual unnecessary satirical responses.

"So, are you happy this' happened..us, having a daughter?"

She asks, though it seemed through her voice that she was still a little miffed over what was said to Wilson. Greg turns his head gradually to face her, he exhales a breath of air and responds.

"Yeah..I am.." he answers, his voice somewhat low. But then quickly shifts to weird mode within a second or two. "But don't expect any breastfeeding, that stuff wigs me out..she's going straight to bottle, whether she likes it or not."


End file.
